Should I Stay or Should I Go?

It's a beautiful June, I mean February day. I'm sitting out on my porch sporting bare feet and short sleeves and basking in the breezy clouds overhead that so unwittingly soothe me. It's ok to relax if the  clouds are out, a sunnier day might mean I have to be adventurous and grip life a little more robustly, but today I can just relax. I worry that I have relaxed entirely too much here in Missouri. I wonder if I haven't lost sight of what my goals are. The Army is a strange comfort. Somehow knowing it will be unknown seems more safe than getting out and making horrifically intentional decisions. Author of my own fate... It's strange to say but I don't know if I have the courage to leave the Army. I know I need to go back to school, and soon before Chance and I figure out we are pregnant one day soon. It really is so odd that despite my highly imposed structure on life it will always be a blank sheet of paper with a story waiting to be written on it. I am the author of my life, and I might as well "get busy living or get busy dying." Waiting around for life to hand me my goals met on a silver platter might leave me old and gray. Though I wonder if I have the meaning of that quote entirely wrong and goals should rank the lowest of my ambitions...
At any rate ;) Chance and I have had a wonderful day off together and got to go exploring down at Devil's Elbow. We talked and drank coffee and walked along the river, can't ask for a better day.